JK Rowlings inspiring speach at Harvard Convocation

http://vimeo.com/1711302
Take a few minutes to listen to this amazing speech. JK Rowling speaks of the power of failure and the life changing possibilities of imagination. Her life story has been difficult but she found the inner strength and resilience she needed to pick herself up and refocus her life by doing what she loved; what she had always loved but had been distracted away from.

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MY BOOK IS FINISHED - dreams really don't have deadlines!

This morning I printed off my book on the topic of food sensitivities and children! It has been an interesting experience to notice the emotional roller coaster that it has placed me on. There is a huge sense of relief, of gratitude, of adventure and gleeful terror over what might be next as well as more than a few saboteur voices of doubt.

This book, like the ones written by so many people, has been years in the making. I began it when our children were small and I was struggling trying to sort out their diet. It was put on hold when life become too busy and I couldn't find time to write or work with families facing similar challenges. As I tell my clients all the time, however, dreams don't have deadlines and when the time is right, the doors will open. My journey with this book has been nothing short of miraculous. God placed the most amazing people and opportunities in my path over the last few years and all of them have contributed to the wonderful experience it has been. I have loved every minute of it. I could actually get lost in the experience of writing and long for the rest of my life to just let me be for a while.

There is still a final proof read by my wonderful editor Gordon to go before it is sent off to the publishers but the most difficult piece is finished. I am grateful to him for his patience, wisdom, great connections and wonderful friendship. This journey has been so much richer with him to share it with.

As well, I am grateful to my family for their support and for the many friends who have continued to be interested and supportive of my journey. It is an immense gift to be able to offer the wisdom I have acquired in almost 58 years of living back to other families facing similar challenges. It feels like a wonderful legacy to leave. The biggest legacy I leave, however, is our children and grandsons. It is the impact that changing their diet has had on their lives that bring me the most joy. It has been worth every minute of extra effort as my husband and I now enjoy watching them all thrive in their lives. It is the best gift I could imagine.

I hope all of you have dreams that you are working toward and planning and that you embrace the idea that dreams do not have deadlines. Sometimes the dream is delayed simply because there is more learning you need to do to make it work. The reward of finally achieving it is worth the wait!!

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CAN YOU BE ALONE?

Love this video:
-->http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7X7sZzSXYs
How comfortable are you being alone? No distractions, no conversations, nothing to do and nowhere to go? Are you overwhelmed with thoughts of your "to do" list or are you simply antsy to get on with something - anything, to relieve those anxious feelings that are beginning to surface?

One of the places of growth for me in the last year has been to learn to sit quietly with myself and with God. I have been to two silent retreats which, if you know me well, is a BIG stretch. I love to chat, have meaningful and deep conversations and spend time with the important people in my life. I am learning that silence allows me to access a deep inner wisdom that I had often lost touch with. I love the phrase in the book by Thomas Keating that says, "Contemplative prayer undoes the strings of the sludge of the unconscious". Healing can be found in silence and contemplation.

In the beginning my mind raced everywhere and reminded me constantly of all the things I needed "to do" in my life. Now, however, I am able to relish the quiet ritual of contemplation in my day and I notice my day simply feels calmer and lighter when I begin and end it in silence. Thoughts of all kinds appear and, if I don't grab onto them but allow them to quietly slip past my awareness, I am finding that many of the challenges of my life are getting easier.

What about you? Do you ever allow yourself time to step out of the busy pace of your life and enjoy the experience of doing nothing? Do you walk in nature, sit in the sun, or simply sit quietly in your bed for a few nourishing minutes? It often seems that when life is the most stressful is when we forget to simply sit, rest, take a few breaths and listen for the wise internal voice that we all possess. I hope this serves as a reminder to stop often in your day and notice how you are really doing. Take some time to get comfortable being alone and you might be surprised what you might learn about yourself. Perhaps, like me, you will even find healing of some of those old stories from your past and a renewed sense of peace in your life.

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MENTAL ILLNESS AND FOOD SENSITIVITIES

Are you or someone you love struggling with the symptoms of depression? Have you ever considered that the food you are eating might be a significant part of the cause?

I have spent 8 hours today immersed in the physiology of food sensitivities. I was proof reading this section for my book and filling in the gaps in the places where I felt I was lacking information or resources. I know the material well and have spent over 25 years working with people, including my own family, to help them address the diet triggers and symptoms in their life. Without doubt, the most controversial symptoms that are attributed to food are ones that relate to mental health and behaviour.

Many years ago Dr. Feingold identified that children with ADD improved dramatically when food colouring and artificial chemicals were removed from their diet. Dr. Doris Rapp, a well known American pediatric allergist and environmental specialist has written several books on the impact of food sensitivities on the behavior, attitude, and mental health of children. Her website is www.dorisrappmd.com Dr. Natasha Campbell-McBride has treated hundred's of children with autism, schizophrenia, ADD and ADHD with diet and had amazing results. Her book "Gut and Psychology Syndrome" tells the story about her work. Her website can be found at www.gutandpsychologysyndrome.com Despite the literature and the research that supports this topic, the number of people educated about the connection between food and mental health is small.

While I have personally seen the mental health of my clients transformed, the possibility that a change in their diet is what made the difference is still usually dismissed by their physicians. I helped another woman this past week whose depression disappeared after only 3 weeks on a dairy free, gluten free diet. I have also witnessed the same transformation in children. It is a source of great frustration for me that more people do not have this information so at least they could make a conscious choice whether or not to give it a try. I am aware tonight after spending hours on my book again today of the reason I am writing it. Food does have a huge impact on mental health, behaviour, attitude, learning, and health and I am committed to spreading the word. It is a drug free, safe, relatively easy, and inexpensive way to regain your health and the potential for your life and the lives of your children. Spread the word!! It might just be the answer for someone you love!

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NO! SLOW! GROW! GO!!

Are you, like me, often waiting for answers to those puzzling questions of life; the answers you are sure will make your life easier and help you find the clarity you are looking for? Why is it that some people seem to get all that things they pray for while others seem to face only increasing adversity? How come life very often doesn't seem fair?

I watched the Hour of Power this morning on TV and Dr. Robert Schuller gave a sermon that I loved. The topic was one he gave over 40 years ago and he said it has been one of the most helpful and significant sermons he has ever given both for himself and for those who heard it. The topic addresses the places in life where we are looking for direction but can't quite find our way. He focuses on the assurance that God is in every story, even when we don't like His answers. So, whether you believe God is the designer of your life or whether you believe that life unfolds some other way, consider his ideas and see how they might relate to you.

Sometimes God and life answers a firm and clear NO to your request.

Sometimes things simply don't work out because, in the big picture of your life, they aren't in your best interest. God often has a bigger plan that you can't see and your request simply isn't in line with where He wants you to go. It isn't about God not wanting to give you want you want but that He actually has something even better in mind for you. He needs to say NO to your request so he can say YES to what you need.

Sometimes God and life answers "SLOW" and encourages you to wait much longer than you would choose.

When things you want to happen seem to be delayed, stalled, or hitting multiple road blocks, it often means that God needs a few more things to happen in the sequence of events before your request will be granted. It isn't that you won't finally find your dream but that you simply have to learn to wait. Waiting is a skill to be cultivated and one that this difficult for most of us!

Sometimes God and life answers "GROW" and calls you to stretch and experience more things in your life before your dream will be granted.

It might be that you need to learn more lessons, change your attitude, take care of some other pressing issues first or gain some other valuable experiences before your dream will appear. God's time is not our time so sometimes we have to simply look for places to expand who we are and trust that all in good time our dream will arrive.


And sometimes God happily shouts, "GO"!

Our time has arrived, the pieces we need have been collected, we have grown to a place where we can handle what He is asking and everything seems to magically fall into place.

As I reflect on these 4 words, I can see places in my life where I am at each of these stages. In my work, I am gratefully aware that God has said "GO". I have spent a lifetime gathering all the experience and the wisdom I need to write a book on Food Sensitivities and children. I am privileged to work with many amazing people who share the joys and challenges of their lives. I know God is saying GO because I love every minute of it. The work is challenging and I love that. The people all bring unique stories and issues and I love that, too. I would do what I am doing for free just for the pure joy of it.

However, in other places of my life things aren't quite as easy. My health story seems to have embraced all of the answers of NO, SLOW, and GROW. No, God has not healed me. How frustrating is that. I prayed that he would and he didn't. The process of getting better has been painfully slow. It was 27 years ago that I first got sick! The answers have come in bits and pieces but I certainly could have used them many years before now! And, this journey has resulted in more growth than I ever could have imagined. I have experienced every emotion in the book over and over and it has forced many relationships in my life to grow, as well. I can see the growth when I look back but it has been a difficult journey.

How do I make sense of it all? Most of the time it is easy. As I now embrace God's GO in my business, I can see how even that journey has had its places where He said NO, SLOW, and GROW. He said NO, don't go to graduate school. You don't need it and it isn't part of my plan. He said NO, you can't have your mother alive to be at your side to help you navigate your way. He said NO, I won't give you perfect health to make it easy. All the NO's were difficult but now I can see the power of them.

God also said SLOW in many places. I tried to go back to school, to do a little work, to carve out more space for myself, to find ways to improve my health and energy and each time an obstacle appeared in my way that slowed me down. However, each of these NO's and SLOW'S caused me to grow. As I grew I learned more about myself, about the topic of food sensitivities, about life, about people, about business and slowly gathered all the bits and pieces I would need for success. Then God offered me a few special people and some wonderful circumstances and my dream took flight. God finally said GO!

Because of this story in my life, I am able to embrace that God is there through all the stories. I can trust that the NO's, the SLOW'S and the GROWS of today will be the stepping stones of the GO's of tomorrow. My challenge is now to live every day in the faith of all of this. When I get a NO that I don't like or an invitation to GROW that I would rather not have, it is difficult sometimes to remember the bigger picture. I am hoping God will help me GROW here, too!

So, what about you? Where is God saying NO, SLOW, GROW and GO in your life? Are you listening and having faith the the invitation to GO will eventually come or are you sitting in the ditch of despair? Are you able to celebrate the places in your life where God is asking you to GO and find the courage and conviction to take bold steps? Are you accepting responsibility to GROW in who you are rather than blame others for the challenges you are facing? Are you able to find the patience to go SLOW and wait when all you want to do is leap ahead and get what you want right now? And, what do you do with God's flat out NO'S? What do you do when you simply can't get what you want, no matter how hard to try? Can you embrace the idea that perhaps God has a bigger plan for you and shift your focus to listen for that?

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SILENCE IS GOLDEN!!

How often do you intentionally remove yourself from the noise of your busy life and sit quietly in solitude and notice what your body is drawing your attention to? Have you ever done it or are you, like most of us simply so busy much of the time that you don't even notice the chaos around you.

I am headed off tomorrow for a blissful 1 week silent retreat. I will enjoy the beautiful surroundings of the Bethlehem Retreat Center in Nanaimo and soak up the soul filling silence. There will be no cell phones, laptops, or phone calls to make. I will be left to listen to the whisperings of God and notice what absurd games my mind plays. I have done a 3 day silent retreat before and found it an interesting journey. For a while I just slept and soaked up the rest and then my mind woke up to the fact that I had lots of "things" I should have done and should be doing. My level of agitation rose and I began to think that the next 2 days would be torture. It was only a few hours, however, before my body and my mind gave in and gave up and the constant gremlin chit chat in my head began to subside. By the end of the weekend I felt inspired, rejuvenated and peaceful and could easily have stayed another week.

What will this week hold for me? I have no idea but am going with the energy of curious anticipation about what might unfold. I will ponder the book I am writing that is currently being edited, I will dream of what is next for me, I will likely hear more than few gremlin voices that would benefit from a little exploration, and I will rest. The last retreat offered a level of deep and peaceful rest unlike any I had ever experienced. I hope that I find the same gift this time.

So, what about you? Are you, like me, in need of a little deep and restorative rest? Are you so numbed over by the constant noise in your life that you find silence stressful? I challenge you to give silence a try. Walk in the woods on your own without your ipod and listen, instead, to the birds and your own heart. Create an afternoon of silence in the midst of your week where you turn off all the ringers, computers, and noisy reminders of your busy life and simply rest. Perhaps you, like me, might just find some internal voices of wisdom that have been trying for a long time to get your attention.

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IT IS NOT THE SIZE OF THE LOSS BUT THE SIZE OF THE SORROW

As I was doing a little research for my previous post I came across this on Dr. Robert Fulghum's website!! I love it!!! It speaks to the human side of sadness and sorrow in a way that I have never heard!! I have pasted it below and give him full credit for the amazing story he has written. If you want to read more of these, check out his website at www.robertfulghum.com

FROM THE OFFICIAL WEBSITE OF DR. ROBERT FULGHUM. CHECK OUT www.robertfulghum.com 

January 21, 2010

Seattle, Washington - January 20, 2010

IT’S NOT THE SIZE OF THE LOSS,
BUT THE SIZE OF THE SORROW.

Last Saturday - out for an early morning walk.
Heavy fog - a chilly, drippy start to a January day.
Nobody else seemed to be out and about.
So quiet . . .
Until I’m a block from the nearby park.

From somewhere close by I heard the sound of a small child crying.
But the fog was so thick I couldn’t see far enough to locate the child.
The Good Samaritan Alert goes on in my mind.
Trouble? Lost? Injured? What?

Hurrying along I found, standing on a corner, these three:
A mother, a child, and a dog.
The mother was weeping.
The child was crying.
And the dog looked so forlorn it would have been in tears - if dogs did that.

All three were in basic Seattle cold-wet-weather gear, including the dog - a yellow Labrador, wearing a yellow rain slicker over most of him.

The child was bundled up and packed down inside a high-tech baby carriage that could be used as a Mars Rover if it had a motor.
All I could see of the child’s face were its eyes, awash with tears.

As I appeared out of the fog the child was the first to speak:
“Have you seen my . . . ?”
The word was lost in a sob.
“Seen what?” I asked, thinking puppy, kitty, doll, teddy bear, father?

Blankie turns out to be the operative word.
And the child is a little girl named Nelly, about four years old.

It took awhile, but between the tearful mother and Nelly, I got this story:

Once upon a time . . . Nelly’s grandmother made a blanket just for her.
Nelly became deeply attached to the blanket, as children will.
In time, the blanket became little more than a deteriorating rag.
Last summer the dog and Nelly had a tug-of-war with the blanket.
The big dog tore off a big chunk of the blanket.
The mother did not repair the blanket, thinking it was history.
Alas, Nelly remained fully committed to both parts of the blanket.

This morning the mother has been out jogging with the Nelly-in-the-bucket.
Somewhere along the way the lesser part of the blanket went overboard.
And now, despite retracing the route three times, it cannot be found.

The mother choked up again.
Nelly lapsed into sobs again.
And the dog lay down with its face in its paws.
All three were wet, cold, and approaching hysteria or hypothermia or both.

“What does the blankie look like?” I asked
“Like that . . .” said the mother, pointing at Nelly’s wrapping.

Around Nelly’s neck and head was entwined what might be the desiccated remains of a dead python.
Lumpy, fuzzy, brown and green and red, with yellow stripes here and there.
A raggedy remnant of what once was the blanket.
A blanket now in such grim shape that you might find it in the reject dumpster out behind a recycling center.

“My blankie,“ moaned Nelly, tightly clutching the dead python.

This could be funny.
And maybe . . . someday . . . it will be.
But not now.
Not to Nelly.
Or the mother.
Not even to the dog.

As the world rates catastrophes, the missing partial blankie is small stuff.
But to Nelly . . . a major loss.

I was struck by the serious dignity of her grief.
No wailing or screaming or fit-pitching.
Just sad-eyed sorrow.
“I need my blankie. . .”

What could I say or do?

Should I explain to Nelly that the Buddha said that the attachment to things is the source of sorrow? Be not attached.

Should I say to Nelly that her situation is the glass-half-full, glass half-empty
attitude problem? Be glad you still have most of the blanket.

Should I tell Nelly that life isn’t fair and that losing a partial blankie is training for future losses in life?

Shall I elaborate about hurricanes, earthquakes, fire, thieves, and the loss of a limb or sight or parents? Could be worse.

Or maybe explain to her about the losses involved in love and friendship, when what is lost is never found again?

No. Nelly is four.
Sooner or later she’ll find out on her own, like the rest of us.

Nelly’s sorrow is still real to Nelly.
And grief is to be attended to, not judged or analyzed or dismissed.
This was not the time for the Good Samaritan to offer a sympathetic discourse to mother or child or dog on the existential realities of the human condition.
Dispassionate explanations will not help.

So I knelt down beside Nelly and said,
“I’m so sorry.
I understand.
I had this happen to me once.
It made me cry, too.
I’ll look for it.
And if I find it, I’ll make sure you get it back.”

(And to my complete surprise, when I said that, tears came to my own eyes.
I’m not sure just why.
Perhaps I was thinking of the times in my life when I wish someone had said that to me when I was grieving over a loss of my own.
Lost Blankies come in many sizes and shapes and forms.)

What I said seemed to help. Not much. But some.
Enough to set the threesome in motion again on their quest.

Blocks away I found the missing semi-blankie.
Or thought I did. Several times.
In the half light of a foggy morning, many heaps of mossy trash lodged under bushes resembled partial pythons.

The false sightings reflected my hope that I could and would find Nelly’s blankie, and be the one who returned it.

But I did not and was not.

So what’s this all about?
I’ve been asking myself that for the last few days.

My frustration in this small matter mirrors, I think, a deeper universal human wish that any one of us could make things better for all those in pain wherever, whenever, no matter how small the loss or large the sorrow.

FROM THE OFFICIAL WEBSITE OF DR. ROBERT FULGHUM. CHECK OUT www.robertfulghum.com

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